AITA: Secret Engagement, Public Lies & Relationship Red Flags
This week’s Gummy Bears segment from Episode 20 of The Know Buddies 757 brings another Reddit AITA story — and this one is packed with red flags, secrets, and a whole lot of questionable behavior.
What starts as a friendship turns into a hidden relationship, a secret engagement, and eventually… public accusations that flip the entire story upside down.
The Setup: Friendship, Marriage & Missed Chances
The story centers around a woman who had been close friends with “Mark” for years — even before she got married to her first husband.
Despite knowing her for eight years, Mark never expressed his feelings. Instead, he stayed silent while she built a life with someone else — even serving as a witness at her wedding.
After several years of marriage and the birth of a child, her husband had an affair — leading to a quick and painful divorce.
At her lowest point, Mark stepped in.
When Support Turns Into Something More
Mark became her emotional support system:
- Calling regularly
- Spending time with her
- Helping her through depression
Eventually, he confessed that he had always had feelings for her.
What followed was a relationship that seemed comforting at first — but quickly revealed major red flags.
Because from the very beginning, Mark insisted on one thing:
The relationship had to stay a secret.
The Secret Relationship That Never Ended
For two years, they dated in private.
No family.
No friends.
No public acknowledgment.
When she finally asked to make things official, Mark pushed back — saying people might “judge” them because he had been her wedding witness and she was recently divorced.
Even worse, his reasoning evolved:
- His parents wouldn’t accept her
- She was divorced
- She had a child
Despite years together, he still refused to acknowledge her publicly.
And somehow… it got worse.
A Secret Engagement?
After years of hiding the relationship, Mark proposed — but still demanded secrecy.
He didn’t want:
- His parents to know
- Her parents to know
- Friends to know
- Anyone to know
At this point, Jackie and Kashmir react in real time:
“Secrets are bad… bad, bad.”
Because the question becomes obvious:
If you have to hide the relationship, is it even a real relationship?
The Breaking Point
After years of being hidden, she finally set a boundary:
She would only move forward if he told his parents and made the relationship public.
Instead of stepping up, Mark doubled down — refusing to choose between her and his family’s approval.
So she made the difficult decision:
She walked away.
Choosing Herself (And Her Daughter)
The woman accepted a job abroad, moved with her daughter, and ended the relationship completely.
She prioritized:
- Stability
- Independence
- A healthier future
Eventually, she met someone new — someone who:
- Wanted a real relationship
- Met her family
- Respected her life and her child
- Made their relationship public
In other words… the exact opposite of Mark.
The Twist: Lies & Reputation Damage
Just when the story seems resolved, the real chaos begins.
After learning she got married, Mark tells people:
- They were engaged
- She cheated on him
- She betrayed him
Because their relationship had always been secret, no one knew the truth — and many people believed him.
Suddenly, she’s the villain in a story that no one fully understands.
The Question: Is She the A-Hole?
Despite everything, she still questions herself:
Was she wrong for leaving him and moving on?
Jackie and Kashmir’s response is immediate:
Absolutely not.
Know Buddies Take: Red Flags Don’t Turn Green
This story hits on some major relationship truths:
🚩 Secrets are not love
If someone is hiding you, they are not fully choosing you.
🚩 Excuses are still excuses
“Timing,” “parents,” and “what people think” are often ways to avoid commitment.
🚩 Time does not equal investment
Three years together means nothing if the relationship never moves forward.
🚩 Boundaries are necessary
Walking away wasn’t selfish — it was healthy.
🚩 Real love is not hidden
The right person will not keep you a secret.
As Jackie and Kashmir put it:
“He was stringing her along.”
🌟 Final Thoughts
This Gummy Bears story is a reminder that:
- Love should be clear, not confusing
- Commitment should be visible, not hidden
- And if someone refuses to stand beside you publicly…
they’re not standing with you at all
Sometimes the hardest decision is walking away.
But in this case — it was the right one.
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Text us at 757-756-7487 or email connect@theknowbuddies757.com — we might feature it in a future Gummy Bears!
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AITA: Secret Engagement, Public Lies & Relationship Red Flags
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