Reddit: Am I the A-Hole for Ruining Thanksgiving? Gummy Bears
Welcome back to Gummy Bears, where we share wild, funny, and messy stories that keep you entertained and a little bit shocked.
Today’s episode from Reddit: “Am I the A-hole for ruining Thanksgiving?”
Spoiler: it involves a salty mother-in-law, the wrong name, and a missing turkey.
The Story: Jenny, Janet & the Thanksgiving Turkey That Never Showed Up
Our storyteller is a 30-year-old woman who’s been dating her 30-year-old boyfriend for three years. Before she came into the picture, he dated his high school sweetheart, and they were together a long time. They eventually fell out of love and broke up.
A year later, he started dating Jenny (our storyteller).
Here’s where it gets messy:
- His mom was still heartbroken over the breakup with the ex.
- The ex had basically grown up with the family, so they treated her like one of their own.
- Jenny wanted to be understanding and thought his mom just needed time to warm up.
The Name Games Begin
For the first year of the relationship:
- His mom repeatedly called Jenny by the ex’s name
- Jenny corrected her a few times
- It got to the point where her boyfriend had to step in and tell his mom to “be nice”
The mom laughed it off and said it was “just a habit.”
After that, she switched tactics:
- She started calling her “Janet” instead of Jenny
- Not an accident, just petty
- Jenny realized the mom liked getting a reaction out of her, so she stopped correcting her
The Setup: “Let Janet Make the Turkey This Year”
A few weeks before Thanksgiving, they were at a barbecue at the older sister’s house. In the kitchen:
- Jenny was there with:
- The mom
- Both sisters
- One of the husbands
The older sister mentioned how Jenny’s boyfriend had praised her cooking to her husband.
Mom was listening. And then she says:
“Sure, why don’t we let Janet make the turkey this year?”
The sisters giggled and looked at each other.
Jenny simply replied:
“That’s a great idea.”
And here’s the important part:
She never told her boyfriend about the conversation.
Thanksgiving Day: “I Thought Janet Was Bringing the Turkey…”
Thanksgiving arrives.
Jenny and her boyfriend show up at his mom’s house with:
- the usual wine and dessert
- no turkey
Everyone is shocked.
His mom is stunned.
Jenny just says:
“What? I thought Janet was bringing the turkey.”
And that’s when it all blows up.
- There was yelling
- Crying
- And then… they got kicked out
Her boyfriend was furious and hasn’t spoken to her since. She says she thinks the relationship is over… but she still doesn’t feel like she did anything wrong.
So she asked: “Am I the A-hole for ruining Thanksgiving?”
Our Take: Is She the A-Hole?
Short answer: No.
Longer answer: this was passive-aggressive revenge, but it was also a natural consequence of the mom’s disrespect.
Here’s why we don’t think she’s the problem:
- The Mom Was Disrespectful from Day One
- Called her by the ex’s name for a year
- Then deliberately called her “Janet” instead of Jenny
- The sisters laughed, which means they were in on it
At some point, people can’t keep disrespecting you and then act shocked when you let their own behavior catch up to them.
- The Boyfriend Didn’t Protect Her
This part is important.
If you’re going to marry into a family, you need your partner to:
- Set boundaries with their parents
- Have your back when someone is undermining or humiliating you
Here, we only see him getting slightly upset once. But there’s:
- No serious boundary
- No clear “This is my girlfriend, respect her or we’re not coming” moment
If he’s mad now but never truly addressed his mom’s behavior before, that’s a red flag. 🚩
- The “Janet” Comment Was a Trap… and Mom Walked Right Into It
Mom said:
“Why don’t we let Janet make the turkey this year?”
Jenny:
“That’s a great idea.”
If you’re going to play petty games with someone’s name, you better be ready for the fallout when your imaginary “Janet” doesn’t show up with the food.
Did it ruin Thanksgiving?
Yes.
But did Jenny lie or promise to make the turkey and then bail?
No.
She played it exactly how they set it up.
Why This Relationship Probably Won’t Work
We said it in the segment and we’ll say it here:
- You cannot thrive long-term with a mother-in-law who openly disrespects you
- And you definitely can’t thrive if your partner doesn’t fully support you
A few thoughts:
- If he’s more angry at her reaction than at his mom’s ongoing disrespect, that’s a problem
- “Family loyalty” is one thing, but allowing a parent to constantly undermine your partner is another
- Marriage won’t fix this — it usually amplifies it
Honestly, she probably needs to get out of that family and find someone who will:
- Defend her
- Introduce her as his partner with pride
- And shut down name games the first time it happens
Our Verdict
Is she the A-hole?
We say: No.
Was it spicy, petty, and nuclear on Thanksgiving?
Absolutely. 🦃🔥
But it exposed the real issue:
- This wasn’t about a turkey.
- It was about respect, boundaries, and a boyfriend who didn’t protect his girlfriend from his mom’s behavior.
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