Enneagram, Faith & Finding Your “Why”
Last week, we dove into the Myers-Briggs personality test and how it explains how we behave and interact with others. If you missed that episode, definitely go back and check it out.
This week, we’re switching gears and going a little deeper.
We’re talking all things Enneagram – the test that doesn’t just tell you how you act, but why you do what you do.
Jackie and I both took the full Enneagram test on truity.com (we called it “true Widdecombe” in the convo 😂). We even paid the $20 version because we wanted allll the tea on ourselves.
What Is the Enneagram, Really?
The Enneagram is a personality system designed to reveal:
- how your emotions drive your life
- how you engage with others to get what you want and need
- what motivates you on a deep, often subconscious level
It doesn’t just describe your behavior. It digs into:
What am I afraid of?
What am I really craving?
What story am I telling myself about my worth?
The Enneagram also talks about levels of health:
- how you act when you’re stressed
- how you function in “average” mode
- how you look when you’re healthy and growing
As Christians, we both feel strongly about this:
You don’t reach true “self-actualization” without Jesus.
The test may name your patterns, but it’s been:
- reading the Bible
- letting God correct us
- and walking with Jesus
that has actually helped us become the healthier versions of our types.
Enneagram vs. Myers-Briggs: How vs. Why
To put it simply:
- Myers-Briggs → focuses on how people behave
- How do you get energy?
- How do you process information?
- How do you make decisions?
- Enneagram → focuses on why people behave that way
- What are you afraid of?
- What are you chasing?
- What are you trying to prove or protect?
Both can be helpful, but the Enneagram feels more like: 🩺 “Here’s what your heart is really struggling with.”
The 9 Enneagram Types: Body, Head & Heart
The Enneagram groups the 9 types into three centers:
- Body Types (Gut) – Types 1, 8, 9
- Head Types (Mind) – Types 5, 6, 7
- Heart Types (Feelings) – Types 2, 3, 4
Each center has a core emotion driving it.
Body Types: 1, 8 & 9 (Core Emotion: Anger)
Body types are driven by instinct and tuned into their five senses. Their core emotion is anger, often repressed but still driving their responses.
- Type 8 – The Challenger
See themselves as strong and powerful. They want to stand up for what they believe in and hate feeling controlled.
(We know a few 8s… including Jerry, Nanny, and Judy! 😅) - Type 9 – The Peacemaker
Want peace, comfort, and harmony. They avoid conflict and try to keep the peace with everyone.
(Kashmir’s mom, Liz, and a close friend are total 9s.) - Type 1 – The Reformer
Want everything to be in order and “right.” They care deeply about being good, correct, and responsible.
Head Types: 5, 6 & 7 (Core Emotion: Fear)
Head types are driven by intellect. They analyze and rationalize their emotions. Their core emotion is fear—not always obvious, but quietly running the show.
- Type 5 – The Investigator
Believe resources (time, energy, knowledge) are scarce and try to conserve what they have. - Type 6 – The Loyalist
Preoccupied with safety and security. They want to be prepared for problems and look for something or someone trustworthy to lean on.
(We’re pretty sure “the Scoop” and Papa are 6s.) - Type 7 – The Enthusiast
Want to experience everything fun and exciting. They avoid pain, boredom, and limitations at all costs.
(Hi, Teresa. 👋)
Heart Types: 2, 3 & 4 (Core Emotion: Sadness)
This is our camp. 💔❤️
Heart types are driven by emotions and a desire to connect with others. Their core emotion is sadness, flowing out of a deep sense of disconnection from self or others.
- Type 2 – The Helper (Jackie)
- Type 3 – The Achiever (Kashmir)
- Type 4 – The Individualist
Heart types want love, connection, and a sense that they matter.
Jackie’s Type: Enneagram 2 – The Helper (2w3)
Jackie’s main type is a Two, with a strong Three wing.
Strengths of a Type 2
According to her Enneagram report, Jackie as a 2 is:
- Sincere and warm-hearted
- Shows unconditional care and support for others
- Sees the good in people, even when they don’t see it in themselves
- Creates close, meaningful relationships
- Values a life of love, family, sharing, and friendships
If you know Jackie, all of this tracks. 😂
Challenges of a Type 2
Here’s where it gets unfiltered:
- Struggles to recognize her own needs
- Has trouble saying no
- Can become overly sentimental and people-pleasing
- Can become possessive in relationships
- Feels a need for a positive return on her caregiving
- Can become angry or hurt if her help isn’t appreciated for its true value
Core Pattern for Type 2
- Core Weakness: Pride
Twos are proud of their image as “the loving one.”
Deep down, there’s an egocentric need to be needed in order to feel important. - Core Belief: “If I can serve you, you will love me.”
- Core Fear: Being unwanted and unworthy of love.
- Core Desire: To be loved unconditionally.
As Jackie shared, a lot of that goes back to childhood—where serving, helping, and being the “good kid” felt like the way to earn love and approval.
Kashmir’s Type: Enneagram 3 – The Achiever (3w2)
Kashmir’s main type is a Three, with a strong Two wing.
Strengths of a Type 3
Her report describes Type 3s as:
- Goal-oriented with huge drive and zeal
- Love success, progress, and accomplishment
- Know how to work a crowd and communicate
- Supremely efficient and productive
- Often risk-takers with creative solutions
- Great at adapting and improvising
Hello, podcast producer / host energy. 🎙️
Challenges of a Type 3
On the flip side, Threes can:
- Focus too heavily on personal image
- Come across as insensitive or overly competitive
- Be intolerant of failure in themselves or others
- Repress emotions to stay productive and “on top”
- Become self-deluded, managing their image to hide perceived inadequacy
Core Pattern for Type 3
- Core Weakness: Deceit
Believing they are only as good as the image they present to the world. - Core Belief:
“In order to be worthy, I must succeed—or at least be seen as successful.”
- Core Fear: Being exposed as worthless, incompetent, or a failure—to be “a nobody.”
- Core Desire: To hold a high status, be respected, admired, and valued, and to receive praise and validation.
This is where Kashmir’s drive, work ethic, and perfectionism collide with insecurity and pressure. Especially when she was in a job pouring energy into projects that didn’t feel impactful, all the “What is my purpose?” questions hit hard.
Stress vs. Thriving: Our “Worst” and “Best” Selves
The Enneagram also maps out how each type looks:
- when they’re stressed
- when they’re average
- when they’re healthy and thriving
When a Type 3 (Kashmir) Is Stressed
A struggling, unhealthy Three can become:
- Superficial
- Self-promoting
- A showoff
- Arrogant
- Dishonest
- Opportunistic and exploitative
Basically: all image, no depth. All hustle, no heart.
When a Type 2 (Jackie) Is Stressed
An unhealthy Two can become:
- Deluded
- Patronizing
- Bossy and manipulative
- Clingy
- Angry, resentful, and blaming
- Even vengeful
The pattern is: “After everything I’ve done for you, how dare you not appreciate me?”
What We Look Like at Our Best
Here’s the encouragement: the Enneagram doesn’t just diagnose the ugly stuff—it shows what growth can look like.
A Healthy Type 3
At their best, Threes:
- Understand they are worthy for who they are, not what they accomplish
- Become self-confident, vulnerable, and self-revealing
- Are inspirational and uplifting to others
- Are intimate and present in relationships, not just “performing”
- Become models of hard work and healthy achievement
Honestly, a lot of this has come through letting God redefine success—less “do more” and more “be who I called you to be.”
A Healthy Type 2
At their best, Twos become:
- Loving and selfless
- Truly altruistic (giving without strings)
- Empathetic and warm-hearted
- Compassionate and nurturing
- Enthusiastic and uplifting
For Jackie, this means letting Jesus heal the lie that she has to earn love through serving, and instead serve out of a place of being already loved.
Wings & Arrows: Our Extra Flavor
Each Enneagram type has:
- Wings → the numbers on either side of your type that “flavor” your personality
- Arrows → the directions you move in stress and in growth
Our Wings
- Kashmir: 3w2 – Achiever with Helper flavor
- Jackie: 2w3 – Helper with Achiever flavor
Basically, we’re mirror images of each other. No wonder we podcast well together. 😂
Our Arrows
Kashmir’s arrows are to 6 and 9.
Developing those looks like:
- From 6 → Letting go of control, pausing to reflect instead of constantly doing, and learning to trust others
- From 9 → Being patient, supporting others, and “live and let live” instead of always pushing
Jackie’s arrows are to 4 and 8.
Developing those looks like:
- From 4 → Rediscovering her individuality, seeking a listening ear, engaging in creative outlets (music, podcasting, etc.), and letting herself feel without filtering everything through “What do others need from me?”
- From 8 → Speaking up, respecting her own authority, and being willing to receive without always feeling like she has to give something back
We used to think one arrow was “bad” and one was “good,” but the truth is: They’re just growth paths. Each arrow shows a way God can build balance into us, if we let Him.
Why We Like the Enneagram (With Jesus at the Center)
We don’t see the Enneagram as a box to trap you in.
We see it as:
- a mirror that shows your patterns
- a map of where those patterns came from
- and a starting point for healing with God
It can bring up childhood wounds, old stories, and hidden motivations, but that just makes it easier to bring those places to Jesus and ask:
“Lord, can You heal this? Can You use this part of my personality for good?”
And honestly, you don’t always notice your own growth. But other people do. We’ve seen each other grow so much compared to who we were years ago—at work, in ministry, and now on this podcast.
👉 Want to stay In the Know?
If you want to:
- figure out your Enneagram type: Truity Personality Test
- hear more unfiltered processing of faith + personality
- and laugh at us dragging our own weaknesses on-air 😅
Make sure to:
🎧 Listen on Spotify & Apple Podcasts
📧 connect@theknowbuddies757.com
📲 Text us: 757-756-7487
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